The Nightmare Revisited.....

Welcome, fans of American McGee's Alice!  

We all know the Disney version of "Alice in Wonderland", some of us are familiar with "Alice Through The Looking-Glass", and a miniscul amount wishes they could forget Alan Moore's tales of Alice Fairchild from "Lost Girls", but how many of you remember American McGee's "Alice"?

 "Alice" was a 3rd person shooter PC game that was released in 2000, and was one of the first computer games that I became addicted to (introduced to me by my awesomely-creepy ex boyfriend -no offense Matthew, but that's why I was attracted to you in the first place....so mysterious).  McGee's dark imagination turns Alice's Wonderland (her mental "happy place" she often retreated to as a child) into a place of hellish horror after witnessing her family and home burned to the ground, and living in an insane asylum.  Grotesque versions of the once lovable characters from her childhood now haunt and aid Alice through her journey back down the rabbit hole, and Alice has to fight off her enemies with her big knife, aka her "Vorpal Blade".  As of 22 July 2010, American McGee's Alice has sold over 1.5 million copies!

Ten years later, rumors of a sequel were starting to spread, and EA finally confirmed in early 2011 that they planned to release a sequel in June!  In American McGee's "Alice Madness Returns", we find Alice in London, finally set free from the mental institution, but still struggling with her grasp on reality.  She is still equipped with her Vorpal sword when she gets yanked back into Wonderland, but along with a graphics boost, this 10 year old makeover comes with additional weapons, skills, and more mutated iconic enemies for Alice to conquer!

Check out these haunting teaser trailers (the last one includes gameplay):

 

Also, here's an interview with American McGee & RJ Berg about the game:

Keep checking in with me for more updates!

Art of Alice Madness Returns

I’ve been following the news and updates for “American McGee’s Alice; Madness Returns” (PS3, XBOX360, and PC), the sequel to my all time favorite PC game, so I’ll be posting updates on my blog as the release date (June 2011) winds down!  Here are some of the nightmarish-ly breathtaking concept art and screen captures that I’ve been collecting.

HOLY TWO DIMENSIONS, BATMAN!

If you haven’t seen these yet, check out a few awesome pictures by Michael Suen, from geekosystem.com, where he “de-made” some popular video games into 8 and 16 bit versions:

Arkham Asylum

 Final Fantasy XIII

 

Red Dead Redemption

 

 Guitar Hero

 

Little Big Planet

 

I am getting an iPad 2… at some point.

I’d like to pretend that I’m going to weigh my options, consider the price and compare the iPad 2 with other tablets, but I’m already planning on getting one.  I’m an Apple whore, what can I say?  I already bought my skin for it.  I want it because it’s Apple, and I only need one cable to charge my iPhone, iPod, and iPad.  Oh I’ve tried like hell to fight this urge –I’ve been dragged into many iDebates with my family about why the iPad is obsolete, and all I need is my MacBookPro and iPhone 3, and blah blah iBlah.
My firm stance really frustrated the hell out of my parents, but I was determined to be the black iSheep, so when everyone in the family got an iPad for Christmas; I opted for an HD camcorder.  They eventually wore me down, and I finally agreed to get one when I heard about the iPad 2, mostly because I am usually the last one in the family to get the new release –even my sister had a PS3 before me, and she isn’t even a gamer.  So here I am, blindly jumping on the Apple bandwagon once again and now my parents can brag that we are a complete “Apple family” –the new American dream?  The family that iPads’ together, stays together, right?

 

A lot of people are excited about the quality of gaming on the iPad 2 –but if you’ve read my article about hand held gaming, then you are aware of my previous opinion about gaming outside of an immersive environment, sans mobile strategy games.   However I always like to keep an open mind, and I think the iPad 2 can be a nifty little gaming tool.  I’m seeing the console and handheld gaming line starting to blur, so the iPad2 just may convince me once and for all to become a more portable gamer.

I saw a comment in a chat room discussion about the iPad 2 that pushed my geek button –how long before we’re able to use PS3 or XBOX360 controllers with the iPad as the gaming system?  Where’s the bridge to the console gaming?  Well we don’t have to ponder too much longer, thanks to the new HDMI cable that connects your iPad 2 to your HDTV!   I’m really curious to see how using the iPad as a controller will work –it doesn’t seem like it would be very stable, but check out this video of Infinity Blade and you decide:

 

Real Racing 2 HD looks fun –using your iPad 2 as the steering wheel, as well as Dead Rising HD!  I havn’t seen anything announced about a multi player option with iPads on the HDTV yet, but I’m sure that’ll be coming up soon, since party console games are all the rage.  A few others that caught my eye were AirCoaster XL, N.O.V.A., Dead Space, Fruit Ninja, and Rock Band Reloaded (but I’m not really expecting to be impressed by the Rock Band Game –using finger drums?  Lol).

 Obviously the games are in the early stages of development, so there isn’t a lot to pick from yet, but I’m excited to watch the progress!  Some gaming companies (such as Ogmento) are currently working on involving the front and back camera features on the iPad 2 into their Augmented Reality (AR) games.  I have no idea how future games for the consoles will treat the new tablet avenue, but I’m hoping that “American McGee’s Alice; Madness Returns” is released on the iPad 2, or at least have a spinoff!  I actually really like the idea of using my PS3 controller with my iPad 2 as the screen, so hopefully that option will be explored as well.  My biggest beef with handheld games is that I couldn’t enjoy the longer role-playing/first person shooter games outside of my “gaming area”, and I felt that handhelds should stick with the simple games like Tetris, Snake, Word Warp, Sudoku, and even Angry Birds.  It’s like someone heard me and said, “you’re right, Jen –here’s a tablet that lets you do BOTH!”  Thank you, imaginary iPad 2 iGenie inside my head, and you’re welcome, Earth!

 

All of these games look like fun, but let’s be honest –sometimes we buy something we don’t need, NOT because we desperately want the item in question, but simply because it’s new and we want to hold it over our friends’ heads in a taunting manner and scream “WINNNING!”  I’ll let you know when I’m there.

CABLE ADDICT

I’M BACK BABY DOLL!  After surviving a full year without cable, I couldn’t take it any longer and I caved.  I’d like to think that I was purging myself of the negativity…..but I was just being cheap and I didn’t want to give Charter the satisfaction of grabbing me by the…..uh, lady parts…..over both internet AND cable.  I finally reached my last sympathetic straw with Charter after months of waiting on the phone and yelling at them for my internet connection being down for days at a time (one time for a full 3 weeks!), and when they finally offered to pay my bill last month for the inconvenience, I took the money that I saved and switched to AT&T U Verse.

Boy did I get an adrenaline rush from telling off Charter, err, actually a timid girl named “Rachel”, who pleaded with me to stay and offered me a $12 6-month internet special.  “It’s not about the money,” I sneered, “I’m sick of the lying, being inconvenienced every week, the bad customer service, and the poor technician skills and availability.  I had to buy a new modem and pay for techs to come out to “quick fix” my connections every week.  A lot of money went down the drain because of you.  Why should I stay?  You people don’t care.”  “I care” -Rachel squeaked.  Lol Ok, I was being an asshole about it, but I was 5 months way past being agreeable.  “Sorry Rach, but it’s time that I cut the chord.”  Ok, I didn’t really say that because I’m not that cheesy, but in my head I said it……while lighting up a cigarette at the same time; the flame and curling smoke reflecting in my aviator sunglasses.  Fantasy Jen is such a badass.  No but for real…..smoking is bad for you.

Just thinking about sitting on the phone with another cable company made me break out in a sweat, so I filled out my applications online this time for AT&T U Verse.  Not reading the fine print and jumping to the assumption that “basic” cable meant the same thing to every cable company, I chose the basic cable package and high speed max plus internet with the 18 Mbps download speed.  I have no idea what that actually means, but it’s fast enough.  Days before the installation appointment I received messages and emails to “prepare” me for the big day.  I would normally find it annoying, but if you’ve dealt with Charter as long as I had, you’d welcome a countdown to the divorce.

Installation day…….”Doug” showed up on time with a big smile on his face.  I felt bad for the guy because he had to rewire everything from the street, through my crawl space and then hook up the 2 receivers……in the rain!  One thing I noticed that Charter never bothered with is that he wore protective covers on his shoes so he didn’t track any dirt in my apartment –I REALLY liked that.  3 hours later and a brief list of troubleshooting tips so I wouldn’t have to call a tech every time for an easy fix, Doug was finished.  The built anticipation was glorious and I cleared my schedule for the day –planning to drown in my sea of channels.  And that’s when I discovered that “basic” was a fistful of Spanish channels, infomercials, and PBS.  Not cool.

I was feeling betrayed after I checked the website and was informed that the cable package that included my favorite channels (FoodNet, Green, Tru, SyFy, HGTV, ComCen, CartoonNet, Travel, Discovery, TBS, and Fashion –plus the sitcom stations like ABC, CBS and NBC), was $40 more a month than I thought AND the $200 installation fee was waved if I had signed up for it in the first place.  Expecting to wait forever on hold and a fight over the $200, I was surprised to hear an actual voice after only 2 minutes of smooth jazz.  Her name was “Michelle” and I explained to her my frustration.  I heard her click her mouse a few times and then “Ok, you’re all set.”  “Wait…..all set with what?”  “You are officially upgraded to the package you want, the installation fee is waved and you should receive your channels in 20 minutes.  Can I do anything else for you today?”  I was speechless.  All of my problems were solved in 10 minutes.  That ALONE is worth the extra $40 a month for my digital cable.  With Charter I would have been on the phone for a solid day; bouncing around to different departments, respelling my name and getting yelled at for not knowing the correct military lingo –Alpha, Beta, Charlie….whatever, and then at the end of the day I still wouldn’t have a solution….just a “be patient, it’ll be up soon” or a “a tech will be out next week to fix it” and a larger bill.

In conclusion –AT&T U Verse = GOOD.  Charter cable = I hope you die in a fire you worthless son of a whore!  Side note…..I turned on my tv as soon as I got home just as Iron Chef “Battle Clam” was starting, and ended the night with “puppies dressed in lingerie” on Conan.  Ahh…..just like old times.  Great to be back!

4 Reasons That I am NOT a Fan of Handheld Gaming

Hand held gaming systems in general are such a disappointment.  I don’t get it…..I really don’t; WHY is portable gaming so damn popular?  I’m not talking about killing time playing “snake” on your cell phone.  Hey all of you Game Boy and PSP gamers –why the obsession?

Wanna-Be, dumbed-down versions of console games on a tiny screen?  Um, WHY?
I’m confused about the attraction to sad, half-assed versions of the real games; aka the “big boy pants” console games.  In recent years the quality has shown vast improvement in the power and graphics quality, but I’m still not impressed.  I’m referring to FPS or role-playing games; not simpletons like Sudoku, Tetris or even Angry Birds.  Why would Resistance or Uncharted be so enticing on such a small screen that can be easily smudged with fingerprints?  Yet surveys show a 50/50 popularity split between portable and non-portable consoles.  I’m the only one confused by those numbers?  Let’s just say that I’m a firm believer that SIZE MATTERS!

Poor audio AND screen reflectivity?
I always seem to run into screen glare/reflectivity issues and really sad audio quality with my handhelds and my phone (unless I want to completely shut myself off from the world and wear my huge noise cancelling headphones).  It’s very frustrating for me to game in an environment that I can’t control.  I've only used my Game Boy Advance SP if I'm at the airport, but I tire of it easily because I’m too distracted by my surroundings.

Constant interruptions, lack of immersion and just another excuse to be anti-social.
Why are we so drawn to “checking out” with video games while we’re away from home?  I go home if I want to escape from reality and wind down with a good game, but when I venture outside of my “cave”, I try to be as aware of my surroundings as possible and make real connections.  My video games should be played on my big HD flat screen with surround sound while sitting on my comfy couch with at least 6 hours allotted so I don't get constantly interrupted.  I understand the practicality of killing time if you’re stuck somewhere for a few hours or even waiting in line at Starbucks for a few minutes, but I’m not going to take it as seriously.

Seduction FAIL thus far!
Come on Nintendo and Sony –seduce me!  Take me out to dinner, impress me with your huge…..um, car.  Make me NEED to have you right here, right now!  Handhelds pretty much just cater to frequent fliers, kids, and college students stuck on campus.  Why do I need one?  I assume that these companies are constantly exploring new ideas to entice a larger audience, but they haven’t been very convincing.  The hype generated from the announcements for even more complex console games being released for our handhelds will continue to confuse me.  In fact, I DARE Sony and Nintendo to make a believer out of me at E3 this year.  Will 2011 be the year that I actually buy my first handheld console since 2004?

2010 Game of the Year picks

2010 was a fairly big gaming year for me since I purchased my PS3 in late 2009 and my black Wii in mid 2010.  However I logged most of my time playing “catch up” with games that had earlier releases; Uncharted, Borderlands, Lego Batman, Resistance, and Mini Ninjas.  I only just had the chance to purchase and play two 2010 games and judging by most of the comments from my friends, I think I chose wisely.  Those two games are Rock Band 3 on the PS3 (with the pro drum set), and Donkey Kong Country Returns on the Wii.

I was a very late Guitar Hero/Rock Band bloomer, and I kick myself for not jumping on the bandwagon earlier.  Had I known how much fun it would be and how quickly I would adapt to playing the drums, I would have accepted more Rock Band party invites back in college.  I bought myself the Guitar Hero World Tour band kit because by early 2010 it went down considerably in price.  Most of you know the story of how I got a little too carried away one night and, in a fit of frustration (failed a Metallica song on medium 5 times in a row), I chucked one of my drumsticks into my flat screen, cracking my display.  The first thing I did when I set up my new flat screen was beat that godforsaken song (98% baby!), but then shortly after, the red pad on my drum kit died.  Even though I wanted a pro drum kit badly, I guarded my wallet like a Chomp Chomp (heh) up until my birthday.  My GH drum kit was dead……I had a brand new tv…….GameStop had one PS3 pro drum kit left…..it was my birthday…….I might as well, right?

Rock Band 3 has an interesting collection of songs, due to introducing the key guitar to the band repertoire.  While I enjoy Huey Lewis & the News and Warron Zevon as much as the next person, it’s still a little strange to see them sandwiched between Paramore and Queen.  I’m not thrilled about the highlighted songs that COULD be in your library if you buy them on the PSN.  Don’t trick me…..I appreciate the suggestions, but sometimes it just feels like you’re being mean.  The pro drum options up the difficulty anti, and now not only do you have to quickly recognize the correct color key, you also have to differentiate between the shapes (square for drum, circle for cymbal).  If you’re like me and should have advanced from “medium” months ago, but are too much of a chicken to cross the road to “hard”, then the medium pro gives you a nice bridge of comfort.

I should preface my review of Donkey Kong Country Returns with the fact that I’m not, nor ever was, much of a Wii fan.  I bought it specifically for Netflix viewing in my room because it was cheaper than an Xbox 360.  I was introduced to the Virtual Console and picked up a Classic controller so I could play DKC, just like old times.  My world was rocked when I caught wind of the reanimation of my favorite game of all time (second maybe to Yoshi’s Island –which most of you know because I bitch about it incessantly for it’s unavailability on the Wii VC).  Counting down to the release, I spent hours online watching trailers and videos of leaked gameplay on YouTube, looking at screen shots and reading reviews –soaking up everything I could to prepare myself before hand.  Besides Rock Band 3, Donkey Kong Country Returns was the only game I gladly dropped $50 on as soon as it came out –ignoring the disapproving eye rolls from my sister at GameStop.

I’ve seen nothing but rave reviews for Donkey Kong Country Returns from long time DKC gamers, and recent Wii-hearts, but I think I may have let my expectations exceed a little too high this time.  While the environment designs for each level are beautiful and the new characters are inventive, it was the music that grabbed onto my nostalgic heartstrings and ran for the hills.  The music score for Donkey Kong Country Returns really does bring me back to the days when I was snowed in with my sister and we sat in the basement for days playing DKC on our Super Nintendo; tweaking from our 48 pack of Surge, our eyes glued to the screen like zombies. 

Honestly Donkey Kong is really bulky and heavy –he’s hard to control because he easily falls off things and thumps around –which does make more sense for his character design, but if you’re used to DK from the SNES games, it can be a difficult adjustment.  Diddy Kong is easier to control, just like in the original, but if you are playing with DK and jump with Diddy on your back, his little jet pack kicks into gear and you hover awkwardly for a bit –which will throw you off if you’re aiming for particular landing spot.  This game really utilizes the background and foreground space –giving you longer level play and more hidden areas to collect more items.  Speaking of items, there are so many new items to collect, it’s ridiculous!  Bananas, puzzle pieces, letters…..if you love collecting items, this will blow your mind!  The jury is still out on how I feel about the complexity of this game –does it improve the original or is it too distracting?  Never underestimate the joy that can come from a more simplistic game –most of our favorite games are still the ones from the classic consoles, right?

There are a lot of things I love so far about Donkey Kong Country Returns, and I’m sure that as I play on, I’ll grow even more fond of it (I look forward to the mine cart levels), but the one thing that irks me to my core about Donkey Kong Country Returns is that it’s not compatible with the Classic controller.  Maybe I’m just a Wii-tard, but I don’t have the vigorous yet graceful wrist control to be successful with the Wii remote.  I’ll have to spend more time practicing with the Wii-mote this year –I picked up Mario Galaxy recently and I have a feeling that it isn’t compatible with the Classic controller.

2011 will be an even bigger and more eventful gaming year for me, since this year I plan to attend E3 and perhaps finally buy an XBOX 360 (we’ll see) to round out my non-portable console collection.  Plus I still have Epic Mickey and Kirby’s Epic Yarn on my list to catch up on.  I have my eye on an iPhone5, iPad2, and a 3DS –lots of gaming possibilities there!  I’ll be working on more video game-based art; I’m currently designing a “gamer girl” pin-up series featuring a girl for every console –calendar, t-shirts, posters, etc.  I’ll also be writing more game reviews on my blog, so stay tuned! 

Keurig Revolution!

If you're having trouble thinking of a great Christmas gift for your family, the Keurig coffee machines should top your list.  I was the last of my family to jump on the Keurig bandwagon, but I couldn't pass up a Black Friday discount on this Keurig B-40 machine.  There are different types of machines -my sister has one that gives you 3 sizes and you can time it to brew when you wake up in the morning.  My little B-40 doesn't have a clock, and comes with only 2 cup sizes, but it's perfect for me!

With the Keurig coffee machine you brew one cup at a time so you are never stuck with stale pot coffee, and the brewing system is in the individual K-cups so there's no cleanup!

There are over 200 varieties of coffee, tea, hot chocolate and even apple cider!  You can buy the K-cups online, but I suggest using your weekly 20% off coupons at Bed Bath & Beyond -they always have a large selection of K-cups.





You can also get a "My K-cup" which is a little filter basket the size of a K-Cup, that you can put your own ground coffee in.  Which helps if you drink a lot of coffee, and if they don't supply your favorite flavor (like the Coconut Macaroon coffee from Archer Farms -YUM!).

The problem I've run across is where do you put all of those K-cups?!  My sister puts them in a basket above her fridge, but you can also purchase different sized carousels, or a drawer (like the one I have) that your Keurig machine can sit on.





So far I'm in love with the Golden French Toast, Chocolate Glazed Doughnut, Chai, Milk Chocolate Cocoa, Spicy Eggnog, Cinnamon Roll, Gingerbread, and Butter Toffee flavored coffees/hot chocolate K-Cups, and I'm looking forward to trying the Pumpkin Spice coffee and the apple cider!

Check out some more informational videos on the Keurig Coffee Revolution on YouTube!

Jen Ponders Christmas Song Lyrics and Meanings

I'd like to deticate this blog entry to Amber Evenstar, because this is exactly the sort of conversation we would have while baking Christmas cookies.

I don’t know about you, but my commute to work and back home again has been much happier since I tuned into Coast 103.5 recently (“official soundtrack to your holidays”).  Christmas music is a nice distraction from the crazy traffic, but because I have the time to sit in my car and listen to my fav Xmas classics for an hour, I’ve been really listening to the lyrics.  Ever notice how most Christmas songs (except for most of the religious ones) are very filled with some pretty upsetting innuendos?  Well I have…..and here are some of those songs, and some comments/memories on some other Christmas songs I've been hearing lately:

Baby It’s Cold Outside  -“say, what’s in the drink?” is suggesting that our Mistletoe Romeo has spiked or drugged Juliet to get into her Christmas cheer if you know what I’m saying.  *wink*

I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus  -“what a laugh it would have been if Daddy had only seen Mommy kissing Santa Claus last night” –oh silly Mommy and her holiday whoring around!

It’s Beginning To Look A Lot Like Christmas  -no comment on the lyrics, well, maybe that it cements gender stereotypes when referring to the types of toys the male and female children want, but I have no beef with that; I’m a traditionalist.  But I do have this quirky memory of this one year where my dad had this song stuck in his head for the entire year and he’d break into song every week or so, sing the “It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas” part, and then would hum the rest to himself.  My mom, my sister and I would raise one eyebrow, look at each other and shrug.  So now every Christmas I think about that when I hear that song…..or even in anticipation of hearing that song.  I always thought it was hilarious, and I can’t imagine having a Christmas song stuck in your head for a full year.

The Most Wonderful Time of the Year  -“There'll be scary ghost stories and tales of the glories of Christmases long, long ago” –uh…..ghost stories on Christmas?  Sweet, count me in!  Also, “with the kids jingle-belling” –that sounds like slang for something devious…..

Christmas At Ground Zero  -…….this song is just awesome.  Period.

All I Want For Christmas Is My Two Front Teeth  -“Everybody pauses and stares at me, these two teeth are gone as you can see.  I don’t know just who to blame for this catastrophe”  -beware kids –especially if you live in an abusive household!  If you act up or cause trouble, “someone” is getting their teeth knocked down their throat…..I like the mouse version where he slides down the banister too fast and breaks his teeth…..hey mouse, is that also your excuse for that back eye, or did you walk into a door too?

The Little Drummer Boy  -“the ox and lamb kept time” –how did they do THAT?!  Those are some musically talented farm animals.

Winter Wonderland  -let me get this straight, our Twinkle-toe Romeo won’t pop the big question, so he’s stringing our Juliet along with fake snowman ministers and dreaming by the fire?  I don’t think so….dump him and get a real man!  Preferably one who chops down his own Christmas tree and doesn't make excuses when it's time to shovel the snow off the driveway.

Rudolph The Red-Nosed Reindeer  -shiny red nose?  That isn’t a miracle –I think Rudolph got into Santa’s scotch.  I bet next you’re going to tell me the story of how “Ernie The Dilated Pupils Elf” helped Santa meet his toy quota for the year.

Blue Christmas  -thanks Elvis, like I wasn’t having a tough time as is being single on Christmas, you have to hit us all with a wrist-cutting “I’m so alone” song?  Perk up singles; it’s Christmas!  You should be feeling happy –people are doing great things for each other because of the holiday season!  You’re just hurting yourself by being depressed…..get off your lazy ass and do something nice for a friend or neighbor.  Sorry.....Christmas pet peeve tangent.

Christmas Shoes  -I JUST SAID we don’t need another depressing Christmas song……and this one makes me cry every time, so I change the channel whenever I hear it.  Not to mention a friend of mine who’s mom was dying, bought her Christmas shoes and my heart breaks every time I think about it.

Holly Jolly Christmas  -“Oh ho, the mistletoe, hung where you can see.  Somebody waits for you –kiss her once for me!”  -mistletoe has always intrigued me.  Not because you are supposed to kiss under a parasitic plant that is often spread through bird feces, but because a boy and a girl never just meet at a party and suddenly realize they are standing under mistletoe, like in the movies.  No, either it’s a sad and desperate loner waiting under it to be kissed, or there’s a stalker close by lying in wait for someone to walk under it, oblivious.  No magic; just a lip-rape waiting to happen.....and some inappropriate FaceBook statuses bragging about it soon after.

I Want A Hippopotamus For Christmas  -well that’s just silly.  But it’s my sister’s favorite Christmas song (second to, of course, Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer).

Grandma Got Ran Over By A Reindeer  -my apologies if your Grandma really did get run over by a reindeer…….this must be a really difficult time for you and your family.

Last Christmas  -This song is a warning to us all; don’t let Christmas be your excuse for falling back into old, abusive relationships just because you’re lonely and you think there’s magic in the air….that’s just the cider talking.  You don’t “need” a fling to “last” you over the holidays…..you just need some good friends and maybe more cider.  Mmm cider.  BTW I had the BEST non-alcoholic apple cider yesterday at Fresh and Easy –go buy some like RIGHT NOW!

Santa Baby  -Ok, OBVIOUSLY this is the “striptease” music of the holiday season…..and everyone sings this song like they are desperate for some Christmas lovin…..I thought Macy Grey’s “smoker’s lung” version of this song was the worst until I heard Madonna’s version the other night; she sounds like a coked-up tween from the Bronx!  My ears are still crying…..

Suzy Snowflakes  -This year was the first year I’ve heard this song.  It’s so annoying!  Did someone argue for women’s rights against all the male Christmas figures?  Because Suzy Snowflakes tapping at your window asking “come out ev’ryone and play” with her just sounds like a peeping-tom prostitute; not very woman’s lib.

This Christmas  -Fireside is blazing bright, we're caroling through the night.  And this Christmas, will be a very special Christmas, for me yeah.  Ooh yeah, yeah yeah, alright, yeah yeah yeah, yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah, yeah yeah, alright now, right now, now”  -……..do I even need to comment on this one?!